Light of My Life
by teaandcharcoalforbreakfast
Summary: Karkat just wants to have sex. John wants to take the time to show him how much he loves him. After all, Karkat might just enjoy it. sex, xeno, body worship, light bondage and mention of other BDSM-type things, mild self-esteem issues.


**A/n: **This was initially for black-quadrant on tumblr, but after submitting it I cleaned it up and am now reposting everywhere because I didn't have anything else to post this week.

All characters depicted as 18.

* * *

Karkat never thought he'd be scared of the dark. Most _wrigglers_ weren't even scared of the dark (it was part and parcel of maturing deep underground), but there was just something unsettling about it. Their new world was just so dark. High noon there was worse than stormy nights on Alternia, the kind so horrible he'd actually curl up with his lusus because the wind and thunder kept him from feeling safe anywhere else. The nights there are like looking up into the void of the furthest ring. And he had too many memories, too much fear instilled from almost two sweeps of constant danger. Luckily, his mate-friend boy-sprit thing didn't mind using a nightlight.

Actually, let's just shorten that to "Luckily, his mate-friend boy-sprit thing." God, Karkat would have completely snapped by now if it weren't for John. Sopor slime has nothing on a warm body with a familiar scent pressed against you. Of course, it wasn't always that easy. Early on there had been horrible nightmares and sometimes John had woken up scratched to ribbons. In spite of that, he never so much as thought of leaving. He was more than Karkat deserved, and that was okay.

But even though they had a nightlight, John always wanted to keep the lamp on when they had sex, which was kind of funny because that was the only time Karkat wanted it completely dark. Because, seriously, look at them. John's scars had all healed when he went god tier, and he didn't seem capable of getting new ones. Karkat's skin looked like someone had let Terezi loose with a piece of white chalk. John was slim, tall, muscular, and flexible. Karkat was short and chubby and he had his stupid nub horns and disgusting mutant blood. He had reasons for being embarrassed.

When John insisted on leaving the light on, Karkat did his best to hide under the covers. For the most part he was successful. Then they started getting kinky. Normally that was a blackrom thing, but with the dream bubbles gone he lacked a kismesis and John had a tendency to get dominant and controlling anyway. Karkat had to at least _start _exposed so they could get everything ready, but then he either got to cover his more embarrassing parts (stomach, thighs, upper arms) with costumes or John then turned the lights off. They had a system. Right up to the point where they didn't.

"Do you trust me?" John asked, right when they were in the middle of making out.

"Do you think I'd be letting you do all this if you didn't?"

"I know, I know." He brushed some of Karkat's hair out of his face. "But, I mean, I don't know if you'll like what I wanna do at first. If you get super uncomfortable we can stop, but I think you'll get into it if you try to tough it out for a while."

Karkat bit his lip. "Can you tell me what it is?"

"I don't think so. It'll take away from the experience. That's why I asked if you trusted me."

He looked down, to the side, wanting to focus anywhere but John's face. Eventually, though, he was drawn to those beautiful blue eyes. He looked so sweet, so honest. Not that he was always gentle (Karkat had some amazing bruises on his ass from the last time they'd gotten rough) and he wasn't always right, but there was no shame in stopping if he needed to. John had only told him that about five bajillion times.

"…Okay."

John smiled and jumped right to tying Karkat to the bed. The ropes were soft, almost comforting as they formed knots on his wrists and ankles. He didn't even fight when John added a few more knots over his stomach and put a few loose loops around his neck. John was really, really, really good at tying him up. ("Six years of Boy Scouts!" He'd said proudly the first time, all smiles and adorable buckteeth. Now the motions were familiar, and he watched what he was doing with eyes half-closed and a small smile on his face. He looked completely serene, but it was pretty likely that had a lot less to do with what was to come than that he found comfort in working something solid for a change.)

Once Karkat was properly trussed up, he closed his eyes. He waited for the lights to go out and then for a crop or whatever John was planning. Maybe they were finally going to use the candles? Or maybe it would just be a really rough fucking.

Instead, he felt John's weight move forward and thin, chapped lips press against his clavicle. One quick bite before they got down to business? But no, he never felt John's weird flat teeth. There was just kissing. A large, soft hand came up to caress his side

"The fuck do you think you're doing?" Karkat demanded, snarling down at him.

"Okay, normally you'd be in _so _much trouble for that, but it's okay because I might have been a little misleading." John crawled up so their faces were only a few inches apart. "I want you to see yourself. Like _really _see yourself. Like the way I see you. You always want to cover up, and I can respect that in public and stuff, but I thought this would maybe be a good thing to try? I just knew you'd never agree to it unless you were already tied up."

"And now you think I will?"

"Yeah. I do."

"Ugh. Fine."

John grinned and for a moment he looked thirteen again. Then his smile softened until he was looking at Karkat like he looked at the rope. Fuck, had he been thinking about doing this when he was tying him up? And if so, when did it start? Was he just waiting for when Karkat would let his guard down far enough to allow it?

This time when John lowered himself he buried his nose in Karkat's hair and just nuzzled him. His breath was hot and smelled like mint. Fuck, He'd actually brushed his teeth for this. The tip of John's nose bumped against Karkat's horn, making him squeak softly. John laughed and began pressing chaste kisses to one and then the other before starting to make his way back to Karkat's forehead.

The next half hour was one of the most erotic, arousing, torturous, ones of Karkat's life. Possibly in all of paradox space. John explored every fucking inch of him with his fingers, his nose, his tongue. The only area John avoided was his crotch, likely so that Karkat couldn't come too early and end his fun. Now and then John took a break to look Karkat in the eyes and explain what he liked so much about whatever area he touched.

Karkat wanted to blush and turn away, but also to bare himself further so that John could touch him more and leave trails of fire and blush over his skin. He found himself smiling as John continued, sometimes even laughing (and not just when John attacked the ticklish spots behind his knees and beneath his armpits). Whenever John passed over the rope he loosened it, but Karkat just lay back and took what John had to give. This was so much sweeter and more romantic than even his dirtiest romcoms showed and it was impossible to think of leaving, of nervousness, of anything.

After an eternity, John made it all the way down Karkat's body. Instead of kissing his feet, he rubbed them and _fuck _Karkat thought he was going to die. John had given him backrubs before (sometimes even sexy ones), yeah, but they'd never been _that _good. Maybe it was the fact that he was already pretty fucking stimulated, maybe it was the fact that he'd actually had to stand kind of a lot that day (shit, was that planned too?), but a moan actually slipped past his lips. John laughed, like an asshole, and then just started working on Karkat's other foot. And, aw fuck, it's impossible to stay mad at someone with fingers like those.

Once he was done, John crawled back up Karkat's body, pushing the rope away as he went until Karkat was completely bare.

"You're so beautiful…" he whispered.

"Y-you too."

_Oh come on," _he thought,_ "How lame was that? Really, Karkat? You're supposed to be good at this romance shit and you- oh hi, John's hand on my crotch." _

Supporting his weight with one hand, John started rubbing his hand against Karkat's sheath. It opened and his bulge slipped out in search of something to fill. Shit, that was colder than a spurned seadweller! John – warm fingers, thank God – played with it for a moment, but then slid further back to press two fingers into the folds of Karkat's nook.

"Shit, I can take it!"

"I know. But I like doing this. Oh fuck, you're hot."

"Just shut up and fuck me already!"

John laughed. "Sure, but you have to give me my fingers back first."

Karkat closed his eyes and tried to get his nook to release (it wasn't _his _fault his muscles wanted to pull in the rest. That was what nooks _did. _Anything offered something that small would have done it. Come on.) After a moment John's hands came free with an obscene squelch.

"Yeah, there we go!" John grabbed his bulge with his slick hand and carefully guided it in.

It was more of a relief than anything. Karkat had expected he'd tug John in almost painfully quickly, but he just slid right into place.

"I'm ready," Karkat said.

"Already?"

"Yeah. It's- just go."

"Karkat..."

"I said go!"

"I pity you."

Karkat froze for a moment, but then he smiled. "I love you too."

John gave him a kiss on the cheek and then finally, _finally _started fucking him properly.

The pressure inside of Karkat had been built up a ridiculous amount from the absurd amount of touching (He probably would have been even if they skipped the drawn-out foreplay of gently touching each other's thighs and chests throughout the evening). John got maybe ten strokes in and then made the mistake of touching his bulge. He came like a virgin, shocked and shouting and completely out of control. Luckily, he could tell from the look on John's face, eyebrows pressed together and mouth half-open, that managed to do it for him too.

Like always, John came down faster, but he didn't climb off and start to clean up like he usually did. He stayed and left more little kisses all over Karkat's face and neck. Karkat was too spent to complain even if he wanted to. Eventually John had to get up, but it wasn't until Karkat's genetic material was completely cooled and starting to dry.

He even took extra time cleaning up. There was more kissing as John ran the wet cloth over Karkat's body. He pressed his lips against every section of skin as it was deemed genetic material-free. Karkat was still warm and sensitive, but it was just so fucking sweet. By the time John decided they were good enough the glow was really starting to fade and their block was starting to feel chilly. John dropped the cloth off in the absolutionblock and came back to reverently cover Karkat before slipping in next to him.

"So…?" He asked.

"So what?"

"Did… did you like it?"

Karkat's instinct was to play it down, but he was too tired to care. "Yeah. I did. Maybe I should try that on you one of these days?"

"Okay. I mean, I'm not sure about the rope part, but other than that I wouldn't mind."

"So that means start with the body worship and end trying you down? Make it the opposite of what you did to me?"

"Oh shoosh."

Karkat gently bumped their foreheads together. "Hey, dickbrain, I do the shooshing around here."

"Sure, whatever. You wanna be my little spoon tonight?"

He huffed, but rolled over onto his side. John hit the switch and then pulled Karkat flush with his front. From then on it was silent except for their breathing. Until he fell asleep Karkat just lay there, staring at the cheesy Ghostbusters nightlight and feeling utterly content.


End file.
